Participant #1:
You are listening to. Hello Cupcake, it's Me, a podcast with your host, Michael Peterson. Hey everyone, Michael here with Hello Cupcake, it's Me, a podcast. And today is April 5 th, 2022. And how are you? So it has been a long week already. Even though I just got done doing the Saturday check in video for the YouTube channel, it has just been a long freaking couple of days. First of all, started off with having to deal with my bank and I made a deposit of two checks into my savings account so that I could then turn around and take that money and pay off another bill. And I made the deposits. Never have I ever had any kind of problem or issue with depositing checks or anything. Usually I'll deposit a check and at least half of the money is available to me instantly and then I get the next amount of it like that following business day. So I deposited the checks or whatever and they never showed up in my account. And I was like, what the hell is going on? So I called the bank, talked to a teller directly, and I was like, Listen, I made this deposit like five minutes ago. The account isn't showing that there's any kind of anything. So like, WTF what do I do? So that lady told me, okay, well, I'll call you before the end of business day. And I'm like, okay, cool, fine, whatever. So I wait until about 430 05:00 and I called back and talk to somebody else. Yeah, I see that they're there, but they're just not reflecting in your account, so I don't know what's going on. I'm like, Well, I need you to figure this out because after I hang up this call, I'm going to be a day behind on paying my bill. So if there's any interest accrued, I'm going to have the bank pay that interest. He said, well, everything should be fine and taken care of by the time you wake up in the morning. Okay, cool. Wake up this morning. The damn checks still hadn't cleared. I'm like, what the fuck? So I called back with a vicious Karen attitude. And I try not to take that, especially with my banking Institute, because they are really good and they're usually on top of their shit. But today, now I was beyond pissed off. I was all, Listen, I talked to two different people yesterday. Both of them said that they would call me back. Both of them told me XYZ or whatever. So finally I hang up with them after still not having been taken care of. Somebody will call you back, we promise. I'm like, yeah, well, you better, because that's what the last two people yesterday told me and I never got a call back. So here it is. Are going on 1030 as of the time of this recording. And I still haven't heard from any of them back from the bank or whatever. But at least since then the checks have cleared and I've been able to pay the bills that I need to pay. But that's really stressful and just upsetting, especially when you're living on like a fixed income or whatever, and you need to pay your bills and you put your money into your financial institution expecting to be able to utilize that money to do what you need to do and then it's not available to you. So I try to stay on top of my stuff because I do live on an extremely fixed shoestring budget and living on said budget like that, I don't want to include debt and I can't pay off interests and all that other stuff. So I try to stay on top of things as much as possible. And it just seems like that's the responsible adult thing to do. Now when I was younger, I didn't give a damn about bills. I didn't give a damn about interest. I didn't give a damn about overdraft or any of that other stuff. I would actually get a bank account and then have overdraft protection put onto that account. And then I would keep it in the clear for three or four months and then I would just completely wipe out my account plus all the overdraft protection. And then I'd close out my account and I'd open up a new account before that one even reported that I owed money to it. And I was just an irresponsible little fuckhead as teenagers and you are in your 20s or whatever. And if there's any millennials listening right now, they're probably thinking, yeah, that's not what we would do, but are what most people would do. But that's how I was. I was in College and needed money when I needed money. And I had the whole mentality, if I see it, I like it, I want it. I bought it. That was like my motto. So now being in my 40s and being fiscally responsible for all of my actions and actually having to pay bills and rent and this, that and the other thing, I try to stay on top of stuff and I'm consistently checking my bank accounts to make sure that I'm not overdrawn or that I don't have like this out or the other thing coming out unexpectedly. So I'm trying. And so it's frustrating to me that when I try to do something the way that you're supposed to do it and then it falls through or doesn't work out the way that you need it to, it really discourages me. That's what I've been dealing with for the last 24 hours. And then prior to that, just had a really long weekend, which, you know, as good didn't really do much of anything this weekend. I mean, I went into town and drove around on what was it, Sunday? I think it was. I just kind of drove around and took things a little slow and just got out of the house for a little while. But all day Saturday, I really just slept. That's all I did Saturday. Don't have any reason for it. Don't know why I was so tired or whatever, but I just slept and it felt good to just sleep. And then Monday I had to go and get all my prescriptions, which round trip is like about 40 miles after it's all said and done. So that was fun and interesting. So, yeah, just been a very long couple of days. It seems like Saturday was a week ago. I've also noticed that, too, as I'm getting older, that time is kind of a skewer for me. Somebody will be like, oh, remember we did that last week and that was last week. I thought that was like three months ago. It just seems like my time is melting into each other. So my days, weeks, months and years are all just kind of a blur. I mean, I have a basic idea of my timeline or what have you, but I'm not anywhere near as accurate or what have you with the times that I used to be because I used to be able to like, oh yeah, last Tuesday, around 04:00, you said XYZ. And here it is, next Tuesday when you said that you were going to do XYZ and you're not doing it now. So what's up? Like, I had that kind of spatial time, date awareness, whatever the hell you want to call it. But I lived my life minute to minute. So, like, in 20 minutes from now, I couldn't tell you what I'm doing. I could be on my way to Nebraska. Like, that's the kind of life that I live. The only thing that I actually schedule and write chisel into stone is doctor's appointments. Anything else, it's just come and go as you please. Like, I could just get home from my doctor's appointment and five minutes later be in the car heading to Oregon or ten minutes after getting to Oregon beyond a flight to Hong Kong. That kind of sporadic and it's nice to be able to live like that. It took me a long time to learn how to live on my time versus living on somebody else's time. And it does get a little hectic from time to time having to remember, oh, yeah, you have something scheduled at this juncture or what have you. So I try to always schedule my doctor's appointments first thing in the morning. So in that way I have the whole rest of the day available because I'm one of those people that won't do anything for the whole day. If my appointments, like scheduled at one, then I have the entire morning leading up until one. I'm not doing anything because I'm hyper focused on the fact that my doctor's appointments at 01:00 P.m. And from what I understand, that actually has something to do with ADHD and I've not been diagnosed with ADHD. But I'm starting to think that I may have adult onset ADHD or some underlying form thereof, because a lot of things that ADHD people do or experience, I'm starting to understand and acknowledge that I do the same thing, like object permanence. If I know that there's something on the floor behind a stack of books, that's where that thing lives for the rest of eternity until I move it or forgetting simple things like I consistently forget how much my rent is and I have to always look back at my previous month's bank records to remember, okay, this is how much you pay now. Because for the longest time there I was only paying 600 and then it moved up to 625, then it moved up to 650, then it moved up to 675 and it was at 675 for the longest time. Now it's 725. And I always try to make my rent out for 675 and I have to stop and like, no, it's 700, no, it's 725.

Participant #1:
Once I'm in the groove of doing something a certain way, it's very difficult for me to change how I do and deal with things afterwards. And I don't deal with change very well. Which is also another habit that I've discovered that ADHD people usually have is like, once they're in their routines, things have to stay routine based. And that's part of the reason I don't make plans with anyone. Because if I make plans and those plans get canceled or they fall through for whatever reason, then it triggers my depression and I go into this downward spiral really fast, really quickly, and it's just not good. So I've learned a long time ago not to make plans. Don't look forward to anything. Don't make plans. Like have an idea that that's what you want to do, but don't base your whole like, okay, Saturday morning at 10:00 A.m., we're going to go do XYZ, because if it hasn't happened by eleven or noon, I'm seriously depressed and really pissed off, really angry, really bitter, really. Just all the emotions all at once. So just for my own personal sanity and mental health, I try not to schedule things that I'm going to look forward to just because of having been so disappointed in the past and realizing that that is a triggering moment where things, things fall through

Participant #1:
anyways. So, yeah, got the whole rest of the week open. Tonight is trivia night and we are going up against a new bar. And if we win that trivia, then we go into the silver leagues. Yeah. Because we're in bronze now. So goes bronze, silver, gold, platinum. So we'll go into the silver leagues if we win this week's Championship, which keeping our fingers crossed that you ought to know, I should say, is going to kick ass. So, yeah, that's about the only thing that I'm looking forward to right now is going to trivia later on this evening. So anyways I'm going to let you guys go and as always thank you for listening this far. Follow me on all the different social medias and I will talk to you later. Bye guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. You have been listening to Hello Cupcake is me a podcast with your host Michael Peterson. Please make sure to check back often as new episodes are released by weekly. If you have any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to send a message to hellocupcakeitsme@gmail.com and until next time stay happy, safe and keep doing the best you can with what you have been given.